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If The Roles We Fall Into Were Hats
The strong one A victim The Hero Tyrant Sick role Good or bad patient Provider Nurturer Passive Leader We often go about our lives, moving through the hours of our days, automatically or more consciously slipping into roles. We are cast into them by our experiences, history, societal and family expectations, traditions, culture, and our…
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Plausible Deniability and Truisms: The Art of Swaying you with the Benefit of the Doubt
In many situations, if you are on the receiving-end of disagreement or conflict, giving others the benefit of the doubt helps to preserve the relationship and let go of hurt feelings. Moving to a place where we can discount the possibility of the other persons bad intentions towards us, helps to preserve an agreement and…
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Procedures in Cognitive Analytic Therapy: Tools to Tend Gardens
In Cognitive Analytic Therapy, the next important key idea to Reciprocal Roles (RRs) is procedures. These are the patterns we currently use, that we have personally developed over time, to cope with the impact and influence of our relationships upon us – on our identities, emotions and how we relate ourselves and others. Our past…
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Managing uncertainty: when not knowing is sometimes the sensible decision
In my undergraduate degree research, the ‘p-value’ was a number that came from statistical analysis. It was a long time ago now, but from my basic understanding and memory, the p-value gave an indication of how probable it was that the results were related to chance, rather than to the relationship between the conditions being…
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New publication: ‘When Healthcare Communication Makes Patients Feel Like They Do Not Matter’
Just a quick post to highlight a new publication of mine, available on Psychreg. I wrote this piece drawing from personal, professional and third-party experiences of care within healthcare services. I thought it could be helpful and interesting to speak from both perspectives: as a professional who has worked within healthcare systems for many years,…
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Deserving
I often hear people casually talk about whether they or others deserve this or that: whether we deserve a sweet treat or takeaway depending on how much exercise or dieting we have done, whether we deserve a break, rest or a holiday depending on how hard we have worked; whether we deserve something good or…
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Stories Hidden in Sayings
What a shame. Boys will be boys. She’s a drama queen. Don’t cry over spilled milk. Blood is thicker than water. Idioms and common phrases fascinate me. I’m curious about those people use amongst families and friends, those from different countries and cultures, the expressions that make a language especially difficult for non-native speakers because…
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Triangulation: When Three Really is a Crowd
In this piece, I’m using the well-known family systems concept of ‘triangulation’ to describe a particular process I’ve noticed in and outside therapy, to myself included: A relationship moment where the idea that “two’s company, but three’s a crowd” can actually ring true, especially in the context of navigating complicated group and relationship dynamics. When…
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Fear and First Impressions
On holiday in Cornwall, hanging clothes out to dry, I disturbed the flight path of several bumblebees jostling to land on the passionflowers in bloom in the courtyard. They occasionally whirred close to my face and ears, and I found myself apologising out loud for getting in their way. I realised we were simply existing…
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A Botanical Metaphor for Reciprocal Roles
Risk And then the day came, when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. By Elizabeth Apell (commonly misquoted to Anais Nin) Of all the ideas in Cognitive Analytic Therapy, reciprocal roles (RRs), sometimes referred to as templates, are a central one that has shaped…
A Curious Route
Finding a way through life’s ordinary, turbulent and uncertain contexts
Relational Psychological Therapy & Writing
acuriousroute 